Hey guys
I’m being super emo today just like I was yesterday. Yesterday it was worse by far but today is kinda bad too. I’m just having a rough time adjusting to my current situation. Back to being just me, back to the wall and the world on my shoulders. It’s not a very easy transition for me because I’ve become used to having support from the Mrs. I like being able to express myself to my other half. And now I don’t have a lot to say to nobody.
It’s not that she doesn’t want to talk to me. She does and we talk and stuff. It’s just that I don’t want to confide in her like I use to because now it’s just person to person instead of me to the most wonderful person on the face of the planet. Now I’m just like “ughhhhhh” all the time, even when she is talking to me.
I’m so lonely... no girlfriend, no girl to talk to, no way of finding new girl to talk to, no close friends to confide in, no cell phone, no nothing, just me. Yesterday I was at a restaurant eating with my family when this song came on my I-pod called nude by Radiohead, and a couple of things happened to me:
1.the lyrics made me sad as hell.
All the song talks about is how nothing matters cuz everything will break and nothing works and it never did and all of these things and it’s a good song but it’s also really sad. And immediately I started thinking about her and us and all of that and then the second thing happened
2.I remembered something from her
About a month ago we were sitting up listing to each other talk and having a blast in the middle of the night when we start talking about this very song. This song that already meant something to me before we talked about it meant a whole lot more now. This was one of our songs now and I stumbled onto that fact in a roundabout way.
As I listened to the lyrics I heard it. There’s this one part of the song where Thom York says “don’t care then, be honest, never gonna happen” and it always affects me in some way. This time tho instead of felling chills run down my spine I felt tears stream down my face and onto the table. Deep down somewhere i hear my voice say "i dont fall in love, love dosent exist." Thankfully the rest of my family was busy eating their hearts out so I just whipped it up with my sleeves.
The fact that I needed a new prom date didn’t help either. I spent the ride home wondering what I was going to do. I decided to go the rash and impulsive way and just announce over facebook that I needed a prom date. This initially wasn’t a good idea. Within a matter of seconds I didn’t get a good response from a facebook “friend” an old class mate of mine. But later I shut her up with the amount of date replies that I got. 5 messages and 1 Kirby who wouldn’t mind walking from San Antonio to Houston to be my prom date. That cheered me up quite a bit
But now I’m emo again because I’m still lonely. And hungry. Guys ima go find someone to talk to and some eats –looks at red haired Asian and thinks about my extra stash of food I brought-
I’ll be ok for a while.
No comments:
Post a Comment